what should I do about the baby i am expecting?
I thought it was LOVE and wonderful, we thought we were protected... In the same month, i realize my love story is trunig sour, and I just learned that i am pregnant. I could.... all the possibilities are open, i could push the father into marriage, and probably divorce later, I could abort....and as they say, forget about it (?...), I could disappear for a few months, and give up the baby for adoption, I could have it on my own, with help from my family, and raise him/her alone (but can i go to college then? I am a senior in High school).I don't know if my parents would let me live at home, but I hope so. Can I finish high school being pregnant?
I am scared, does not know what is the best, My parents tell me to get the baby adopted, my "ex"seems to think if i don't want an abortion it would be the best.
I have so little time to decide. In less than a month, I have to be sure i intend to keep the baby, and be able to provide for him in the future.... Give me a piece of advice, please
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Tags: parents, Social Issues, marriage, piece of advice, high school, possibilities, TOS Violation
12 Responses to what should I do about the baby i am expecting?
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well whatever you do dont marry him just because you are pregnant. its entirely up to you what you do though. a lot of people regret it later in life if they abort, some have no problems. try going to somewhere like planned parenthood where they can talk you through all the options and give you all the information you need to make the right decision for you.
There is no simple solution obviously. A baby is a precious gift and I don’t support abortion. Raising a child for you would be extremely hard but my best friend had hers in Jan. or our senior year and they are both great today. She is married to a wonderful man, not the child’s father. Hopefully your family will be supportive of your decsion as you will really need their help and support. Read about babies, think and pray, and you and only you can truly decide what is best for you and this child.
It sounds like you would be under your parents insurance, so go see a therapist and get help making the right decision. No one can tell you what to do with your baby but maybe you can sort through your emotions quickly and decide. Do not try to marry this boy if you feel this way, like you already know it probably will end in divorce and you would be in another situation. Get some counseling and do what is right for you and the baby. Good luck.
ok…
abortion–that’s your choice it’s your body but do keep in mind your ex maybe wants that solution because then he won’t have to pay child support. Abortions are hard to forget about and your ex should have to pay support if you decide to raise the baby. It’s very hard to forget abortions, I know people who still 4 years later regret it.
adoption–that’s an option, very admirable, you have to be a strong person to carry a baby for 9 months then give it up, but if in your heart you can do it to give the baby a better life then do so.
keeping the baby—you can still finish school, plus if your not too far along you could be due in may-july and that’s good because you could finish your senior year have the baby in the summer and then yes you can work hard get welfare for child care and attend college. You can do it, but it will be tough.
Think everything through, especially abortion because at least if you decide adoption now you still have 9 months to change your mind a keep it. Good luck
i am 17 and a junior in HS, DONT abort it, i made that mistake last year..and now i am 20 weeks pregnant. the father of my baby boy that is growing inside me, he wants nothing to do with him at all. so i moved with my mom, my mom is helping me and caring for me 100%!! and i know that you have someone close to you that will help you, everyone does…
i know when i got that abortion, i STILL to this day struggle and it sucks!! so PLEASE dont do that! you could give it up for adoption. i was thinking about doing that, but my mom wanted to help me.
yes you can finish HS being pregnant. i am enrollled in the "teen mom program" in southern california. i dont know where you live, but there are ALWAYS places for teen moms to finish school at.
right now, i am struggling, but only because i dont have a job anymore and my belly is starting to show and people wont hire others who are pregnant sometimes. so i would get a job now if you dont already have one.
if you ever need to talk or anything.
e-mail me
or add me on myspace…
my e-mail is… cowgirl_up_1103@yahoo.com
if you add me on myspace, type in my other e-mail address
it is… beeotch_43@hotmail.com
e-mail me and tell me how far along you are and everything…if you tell me where you live, i could help you find a school you could go to
good luck!
hope to talk to you soon!
I had my first child while I was a freshman in high school. I graduated early and had over a 3.5 GPA I would look at what you have planned in your life and at how mature you are. If you feel like you can’t do this then consider your other options. No one, not even the babies daddy can tell you what to do. You need to examine your life and figure out if you can handle a baby and then a toddler and then a child and then a teenager, get the point you need to figure out if you are able to handle it.
It is really up to you! Best of luck.
I had my second child my senior year of high school and now am married to the most wonderful man, who is her father. We are now a military family so it can work. I would advise you don’t marry him for the baby’s sake if it is forced then the child will know and will resent it eventually. If you do love him but he doesn’t want marriage just think if you could do it alone. My father was great he did almost anything he could to help with the first pregnancy. And your parents might if you are a good student and show a plan on what you want to do with your life and how you plan on doing it.
So, yes a child can be raised as your graduate.
I know someone who had a baby in high school, finished college, and became a teacher. So, if you want it bad enough and have your parents suppport it is possible. I really recommend taking this up with a counselor or someone who is unbiased and not on Yahoo! answers. This isn’t the best place for looking for decent advice about such an important decision. Just make sure you do what’s right for you.
It is so hard to make such an important decision in such a short period of time. You really need to take time out to realize what YOU want to do and not what everyone else wants you to do. From personal experience I know how hard it is not to have a support system and without a support system, it will be very very hard to raise a child. This doesn’t mean your "ex" has to marry you, but if your family and friends support you as well as if your "ex" plays a role as a father, the odds are in your favor.
As for school, you would have to check with your school but when I was in high school my friend got pregnant and stayed in school until about a month before she had the baby and my school offered her a tutor while she was on maternity leave. She came back a little bit before prom and was able to graduate. College is also something you have to think about. Will you be able to handle a child and going to school full time plus possibly working? The friend that I mentioned earlier had her mom stay home full time to take care of the baby and has slowly tried to finish college. Again, it depends on your support system.
You must also consider if you are ready to grow up. Babies are a lot of work and a baby changes everything. I believe if you have enough determination you will be able to do it but that means giving up hot dates for awhile. A baby is a commitment for the next 18 years. What I do highly recommend is that if you decide to have an abortion, to please think it thoroughly. It is very hard to make a decision with everyone giving their opinion on what you should do.
And as for adoption, think about the options. Would you want an open or closed adoption? Would you want to watch another couple raise your child? Or would you give it away and never know what happened to it? There are a lot of things to consider..
Hope this helps! Good luck to you and your family, I’m sure you will make the right decision.
Your situation sounds familiar to me. Except I am older than you and decided to quit my job for many reasons. I too had difficulties with my boyfriend (luckly we worked through them!).
If I was you, I would not marry the father simply because I was pregnant; especially if you will probably get divorced later. You want things in your babies enviroment to be as smooth as possible. There are plenty of single moms out there that make it just fine without the father. Remember that!
If you do get an abortion, carefully think through it. That was another option I faced and personally could not go through with even though the father wanted me to. That is something that you will have to live with, and if you think you can then okay. If there is any question in your mind then don’t do it! I would think about it for a couple weeks becasue that is a very difficult decision to make.
Adoption is another option. I have a friend who did an "open" adoption and sees her son every once in a while. There are so many people out there that would happily adopt a new born and would love that baby as if it were their own. Then you could later go to school without having to take care of a baby, and know that your baby is safe and sound and loved.
If you have support from your family and would like to keep the baby, DO IT! If you read most pregnancy books state a "support person" through out everything. That can be a friend, family, or a significant other. You could go to college still also. There are all kinds of grants and loans that you can get because you have a baby! I am looking into going back to school and am going to apply for some. There are also child care options at most colleges.
Talk to your school counseler about finishing school pregnant. There are always options. Explore all of them the best you can.
Your parents, friends, and ex boyfriend can only give you their input. Only YOU know what is best for you and your baby. If you need to e mail me,let me know and I can give you more advice and help explore options. GOOD LUCK. You will make the right decision!
Sounds like he wants the abortion more than you do, don’t make that mistake unless your for sure thats what you want to do. You CAN finish high school while pregnant, why don’t you go tslk to your high school principal and help come up with a plan for graduating, they usually are very supportive of keeping you in school.
By all means don’t abort. Why do people view a baby as a burden rather than the blessing that he or she is?
Let me inform you of just what abortion entails. A baby in the womb is not just a ‘cluster or glob of cells’ as some would have you believe, but a living, growing human being. A baby has a heartbeat and forming brain within 3 weeks after conception and a spine shortly thereafter.
What doctors do is they drill a hole in the baby’s skull and suction out his or her brain, killing him or her. Then, they crush their skull and pull the baby apart limb by limb in order to make it easier to slide out of the woman. It’s a very bloody and sloppy procedure, contrary to what pro-abortion organizations would have you believe.
Not only is this obviously painful for the baby, but emotionally and spiritually crippling for the woman. Even after the abortion, there’s a maternal connection to someone who is no longer living.
Then, there’s the abortion pill. I don’t know exactly how it works other than it causes severe abdominal cramping in a woman among other side effects. It also kills your baby in the womb, which although less sloppy than normal abortion, still just as immoral because it kills your baby.
My advice to you would be to try to work it out with your ‘ex.’ THere are very few things than can’t be worked out. In fact, the only one I can think of is abuse, emotional or physical.
I also wouldn’t reccomend putting your baby up for adoption. While this option is much, much more humane than abortion, I honestly can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t want their child even in difficult circumstances. Hard times are only a season. They don’t last. Even after it’s over, you wouldn’t have your child.
If I were you, I’d do the motherly thing and raise your child with or without a father. It’s the integral thing to do. I’ll pray that you make the right choice.
I had my son when I was 19. Raising him was/is the hardest thing I have ever done. I wasn’t married, although my son’s father asked me to marry him (because he thought it was the right thing to do), we both felt it wasn’t the right time. My son is 2 1/2 now, and I am college, (a little later than I wanted to be) and keeping him was the best decision i ever made. For me at least, abortion wasn’t an option and
adoption would have been too hard because I knew that once I felt it kick and grow inside of me for nine months i wouldn’t be able to give him up..
As long as you have a good family support system, and you are prepared for the responsibility of giving up your life to take care and nurture someone else, then I say keep the baby.. if your not prepared to do that, then maybe abortion or adoption is the best choice for you.. Hope I could help! Good luck in whatever you decide to do!